batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
