piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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