I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
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I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
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He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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