The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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