Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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