Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
