Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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