I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
