They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
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he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
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Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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