they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
