That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
