We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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