i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
where am i from again
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
