I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
