she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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