I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
