Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
