FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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