I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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