he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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