Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I party with great urgency now.
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