Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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