I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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