If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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