I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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