Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
id be glad to
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
