so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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