it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
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The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
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Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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