she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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