Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
