Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
