never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
