We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
