did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
