I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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