I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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