I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
