so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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