Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
