haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
