Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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