Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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