So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
