I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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