I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
