didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
