just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
