so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
