yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
