Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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