finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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