the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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