I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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