there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
