So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
