Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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