i already hear my dad disowning me
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
They have beer where we have blood.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
