someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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