wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
