Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
it was like eating out sand paper
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
