i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
