I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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