Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
