Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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